Needed
by Bushy Squirrel
Summary: Their future was going to be difficult thanks to the information he was told by Missouri and it would be all too easy for John to ignore it all. But he couldn't afford to blank out on them just because things were going to become difficult, especially not now. Not when that thing could easily return to finish the job. They needed him. - K-plus for emotional content


John gave the babysitter a weary smile as he escorted her to her ride, waving goodbye to her and her father as they drove off. Kelly was such a good girl, willing to watch the boys for free when she could easily get babysitting jobs that paid. John had even offered to return the favor in some way since he couldn't pay her, feeling guilty about pulling her away from nights out with her friends, but the young lady would have none of it. Kelly insisted it was now the only way she could repay Mary for everything she did for the teenager. Mary definitely picked a stubborn one to mentor at the soup kitchen.

Letting out a heavy sigh, John headed back into the house. His meeting with Missouri today revealed a lot. A lot more than he expected. Demons? He never would have expected that to be the cause of Mary's death. He hadn't even thought demons were real before today. John never considered himself religious, so he never put much stock in such things. As it was, now he had the beginning of an explanation of why his Mary had to die.

"Can we read a story before bedtime, Daddy?" Dean's small voice piped up the moment John closed the front door behind him.

"Of course, Dean." John let out a huff of a laugh. He was so proud of Dean. His son was holding up far better than he was. "Go upstairs and pick a story. I'll be up there in a minute."

"Ok, Daddy." Dean scampered up the stairs. John watched with mild amusement as Dean's stomps immediately quieted down as soon as the boy neared his bedroom. Dean was now sharing his room with Sammy, thanks to the fire, and the boy was now hyper-aware of how much noise he made. Especially when Sammy was sleeping.

Letting out a shuttering breath, John wiped at his eyes to clear the tears that were beginning to form. He honestly didn't know how he was going to do it. Raising Dean and Sammy all by himself, without any sort of real mother figure in their life, was going to be difficult. His own mother had a difficult time raising just _him_. Raising two boys by himself would be harder. Inhaling sharply to brace himself, John headed upstairs.

"This one, Daddy." A book was shoved in John's direction by a whispering Dean the moment he stepped into the bedroom. John gave his son a smile, scooping the young boy up so they could sit together on the rocking chair that was salvaged from Sammy's nursery. John took in how thick the book was before coming to a decision.

"We'll only read three chapters, ok? Then it'll be bed time."

"Yes, Daddy." Dean was nearly vibrating in excitement, not being phased by the fact that they weren't going to be reading the whole story. He was simply happy to be spending time with his father. John paused a moment to look his son over as tears began to form in his eyes again before pressing a hard kiss onto the top of Dean's head. He kissed Dean again when he glanced over at the old crib that Sammy was sleeping in. Clearing his throat, hoping to keep the tears out of his voice, John flipped the book open to the first page of the first chapter.

"Chapter One: There Is No One Left. When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen." John continued on with reading The Secret Garden until the first three chapters had been read even though Dean had fallen asleep some time during chapter two. A gurgling noise from the crib had told John that Sammy had woken up near the end of chapter one and he had decided to keep reading until Sammy cried for more attention. Slipping a bookmark in to save his place, since Dean would want to read more the next night, John set the book aside so he could carry Dean to bed and tuck him in. He pressed one last kiss onto Dean's forehead for the night before walking over to the crib to look over his wide-awake son. John gave him a smile and played slightly with his small hand. "Hello, Sammy. I take it you liked the story, as well."

Sammy let out a loud coo, prompting a chuckle from John. He scooped Sammy up to rock the baby back to sleep, continuing to murmur things to him.

"You are so much like your brother. You know that? He would wake up at all hours of the night, as well. Your mother and I would always argue over which of us you two got that from. I still maintain that it was her. She was the stubborn one." John muttered. His breath hitched when he realized that he was already saying 'was' in reference to Mary. He hadn't thought he would be doing that so quickly. "But that's ok. I love you both, anyway. That stubbornness is one of the reasons why I fell in love with your mother in the first place."

Sammy let out a giggle at his father's voice, clearly adoring it, and waved his tiny fists around as if that would prompt more talking. John smiled and caught one of the fists to give a quick kiss to it.

"I will always love you, Sammy. Never doubt that." John hugged his youngest a tad bit tighter. He didn't want to think of the possibility of the day where one of his boys doubted just how much he loved them. The boys were all John had left. John was all the boys had left. Their future was going to be difficult thanks to the information he was told by Missouri and it would be all too easy for John to ignore it all. But he couldn't afford to blank out on them just because things were going to become difficult, especially not now. Not when that thing could easily return to finish the job. They needed him. Probably more than John realized.


End file.
